Railway Track – Bilour Attack

15 10 2011

Dear Ghulam Ahmed Bilour Sahab,

Pakistan Railway - Will it make a comeback

Train is part of our rural culture. Any primary grade book will depict a smoke billowing and track chugging Train crossing in the background, with the fresh and lively culture of our villages in the foreground.

For us, the grown up, the expatriates, trains carry a sentimental value. The train stations, the lively scene of it springing back into life, the hustle and bustle of getting off and on the train, the loading and unloading, the chant and rant of the porters upon its arrival and the deserted look after its departure intrinsically is a picture of everyone’s life. The real Desi (South Asian) life with which we have been brought up. It is just etched into our minds. Trains run in our blood.

Memories breathe the smoke of the trains. We live our memories on those tracks still. But is the railway living to our expectations? Who has robbed it off the life out of our railways? Bilour Sahab, are you listening?

You have dilapidated the railway and it feels you have skinned me alive. There was once I could wait for hours just to catch the glimpse of it crossing at exactly 6.00 o’Clock arriving at Lahore from Rawalpindi. The sound, the roar, the magnanimity, the wonder, the fascination – railway was just all. It was a journey of a thousand miles each day for us. Life is well captured at the rail station. Why o why? Bilour Sahab, why?

UK has 15,000 Km of railway tracks. 5000+ Km of which run on electricity. The railway tracks that run in parallel can go up to 12 at some places. Europe thrives on railway economy. The signature of any region is railway access. UK has one of the busiest railway networks in Europe. 20% more than France, 60% more than Italy, Spain, Switzerland, Netherland and Norway combined. Do you feel pinged? Apply for a post in UK railway. Even a peon’s post for you would suffice to bring it down. A dead rat on the tracks and the railway would rot.

Bilour Sahab, either you’re on the payroll of Toyota and Ford working on their mission to phase out Railway and replace with heavier vehicular imports. Mercedes will NEVER hire you as you’re un-affordable and standard-less. Period.

Pakistan Railway - needs another Rafiq Sehgal?

While if this is not enough, destruction of Indian Railways can be possible too. But would Sarhadi Gandhi allow you to do that from the pits of the ashes he shall be in? Indian Railway is the 4th largest in the world. Spanning a complete 64,000+ Km of railway, it transported 7 billion people in 2009. Just imagine had you been the Minister and you levied at least 1 rupee on these 7 billion nuts – Swiss banks would never been happier. So to say. Bilour Sahab, you are not a good Banya. And even if you are, your resume is not well written. Fact is, you have never learnt to use the typewriter, what can be expected. Not your fault.

Better to amend your name under a known Trademark – Ghulam Ahmed Bilour ‘Scrappiya’ or if more reasonable, ‘Kabaariya’ – would look more prominent and will fetch quite a few million hits from the headhunters. How’s Bilouria Kabaariya Group as a name for your company?

India’s recently added metros in Delhi and Mumbai gross 6.7+ million passengers daily. Just imagine if you get to be a Federal Minister of United Indian Railways, how delighted would Sarhadi Gandhi be in the riverbed of Ganga? Was he cremated or buried?

If such is the progress of Indian Railways, it will supersede your earnings per day. Better you inject ANP weaponry system that your party so skillfully got installed in Karachi. Export your expertise Bilour Sahab. You will have a fleet of able advisors soon. The writer of this post would surely want to be on your side to support you. By the way how many years do you have more to live Bilour Sahab..??

Railway’s dead already. But what’s the next Ministry being awarded to you? Fisheries, they don’t drive though, driving them nuts will be a challenge still. But who knows, Bilawal Chemical Factory can be set up to mega-pollute it. Education Ministry already has got its last rights done. Doesn’t matter. Health, don’t ask, the dead have more calcium on their bones than the living dead.

What other Ministry, Bilour Sahab? Help me brainstorm. Perhaps the Prime Ministry? Who knows. But please next time I see you have a Ministry, Sohrab Bicycles and Servis shoes should have gone down. Please.


A concerned Dengue Mosquito.

P.S – Would any of the 180 million crowd stand up and hurl a shoe at this AS*-A-WHOLE..??


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